Vanessa Cromerica (vshu) wrote,
Vanessa Cromerica

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Reigning Queen of Online Satire

MAKING fun of peoples profiles provides me with endless hours of superiority. I mean fun.
You've seen these before:

Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and
it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Those aren't so bad. But there are millions of them and most are just plain retarded. I even made one up in my profile. (in a brilliant move I mocked the ___ is like ____ format AND insulted people who give shout outs to the deceased in their profiles! a double whammy I believe, is what the amish call it) But now YOU at home can have YOUR VERY OWN RETARDED _____ is like _______ truism!

here is how:

choose a word from the wordbank below:
GROUP ONE: yeast infections, gingivitis, Ryan Seacrest, Cooler Ranch Doritos, Kermit the Frog, kneecaps, Ayn Rand, PB and J Crustables, nose goblins, kory burnside's left testicle, Tommy Tutone, NATTY LIght, the hokey pokey, The Monster Mash (it was a graveyard smash), Eva Savalot, the word "w00t", taco salad

GROUP 2: life, sex, men, women, happiness, death, love, religion

group 3: salty, short, wrinkly, cheeto-tasting, moist, delicious, fuzzy, pasty, stinky, gangrene, horny, retarded, funky, fresh, literally amazing, mossy, fishy, viral, sexy, American, metrosexual, Republican, ridonkulous, Hitlerlike, Reaganesque, romantic, Mexican, beefy

(word from group 2) is like (word from group 1); So (word from group 3) it's (word from group 3)!

examples: Religion is like PB and J crustables, so mossy its retarded!

happiness is like nose goblins; so stinky its literally amazing!

Men is like taco salad; so Mexican its sexy!

ok so I need some work. help me out.

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